I’ve been reading a fascinating book recently titled Determined: The Science of Life Without Free Will by Robert Sapolsky. This book has deeply resonated with me because it speaks to thoughts and questions I’ve had since I was 14 years old.
At 14, I started noticing that something felt “off” about society. I struggled to believe in the idea of inherent goodness or that we have free will in shaping our lives. Instead, I was drawn to a different perspective: the belief that human beings evolved from the sea. Why? It started after I watched a YouTube video about evolution. That video challenged the religious values I’d grown up with, including the belief that a benevolent God created the world in seven days. This revelation shifted my worldview dramatically.
I began questioning everything. If humans have the power to control their lives, why is there so much suffering? Why don’t we naturally steer ourselves toward happiness and peace? Those questions became the foundation of a journey I’ve been on ever since.
Over the next 13 years, I searched for meaning, struggling with pain and inner conflict. Gradually, I found ways to make life a little easier, but the path wasn’t straightforward.
Two years ago, I discovered the writings of Jiddu Krishnamurti. His philosophy changed the way I think about the mind. Krishnamurti describes the mind as having two key components (though he explores these ideas in much greater depth in his works):
Memory rooted in emotion – This includes past experiences, fears, and traumas.
Memory as a technical skill – Practical knowledge, such as math or how to drive a car.
Both types of memory shape our thoughts, which, in turn, create our consciousness. This insight clicked for me: the pain we experience often comes from emotional memories stored in our minds. These memories generate random, intrusive thoughts that define how we perceive ourselves and the world.
This realization tied into something I recently read in Sapolsky’s book. He argues that we are entirely determined by our past—a past over which we had no control. From birth, every experience sculpts us, shaping our thoughts, actions, and decisions. In other words, free will as we traditionally understand it doesn’t really exist.
Here’s a passage from the book that particularly struck me:
As a child, if your environment is violent, you may face poor frontocortical-dependent cognition, problems with impulse control, substance abuse, teen pregnancy, unsafe sex, and other risky behaviors, along with increased vulnerability to depression and anxiety disorders. Oh, and also poorer health and earlier death.
On the flip side, if as a child you felt loved and safe in your family, had good role models for sexuality, lived in a crime-free neighborhood, and enjoyed stable socioeconomic status, then you’re more likely to have what I call a high RLCE score (Ridiculously Lucky Childhood Experiences). These factors are predictive of all sorts of positive outcomes.
Thus, essentially every aspect of your childhood—good, bad, or somewhere in between—factors over which you had no control, sculpted the adult brain you have today.
This passage illuminated so much for me. As adults, our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are conditioned by our childhood experiences. Whether those experiences were positive or negative, they shape the brain and self in profound ways.
This insight extends to how we view others. Imagine seeing someone homeless on the street. It’s easy to judge: Why are they in this situation? Don’t they have opportunities to improve their lives? But this perspective is deeply flawed.
Judging someone based on the “last three minutes of their movie”—the outcome of their life—ignores the rest of the film. You don’t see the context: their childhood, traumas, lack of opportunities, or systemic barriers. To judge someone without understanding their entire story is both ignorant and lacking in empathy.
Similarly, when we take pride in our achievements, we must also acknowledge that much of what we’ve achieved comes from sheer luck. Did you have access to a good education? Supportive parents? Teachers who cared about you? These circumstances are largely beyond our control, yet they play a huge role in where we end up.
Realizing this can be humbling. It reminds us that we are not inherently “better” than the homeless person we see while sipping a cappuccino and complaining about the state of the world. Our successes are not entirely our own; they are a product of our circumstances and the random luck of life.
This is not just about individuals—it’s about the broader society we live in. Our society often crushes children with difficult childhoods, offering them little support. When they grow into struggling adults, we point fingers instead of understanding or helping.
At the very least, we owe it to ourselves and others to approach life with empathy. Not everyone is lucky. Even those who overcome adversity and build good lives still carry the scars of their past.
In my next blog post, I want to explore how, despite being determined by factors outside our control, we can use perception and attention to reshape our behaviors. Through mindfulness and awareness, we can begin to recondition our minds and find peace with who we are.
Carlo is a driven and adaptable software developer with a passion for continuous personal and professional growth. He embraces challenges as opportunities for learning and self-improvement, always seeking new perspectives and innovative solutions. Whether navigating obstacles in his career as a Software Developer or in his role as an IT Support Engineer, Carlo approaches each situation with resilience and a growth-oriented mindset. His commitment to personal development and his ability to thrive in the face of change make him a valuable contributor to any team or community.